The Manny Conflict
So, the Dodgers have Manny Ramirez now. Unlike many Dodger fans, I feel very torn about this acquisition. A pro/con list:
Pros:
- .310, 22 home runs, 73 RBI. Yowza.
- We got him for practically nothing - a dude with an undiscernable amount of potential and some minor leaguer I’ve never even heard of. Nothing.
- After the $1 million relocation fee, we’re paying him nothing. Nothing. The Red Sox are basically footing the bill for Manny to play here for a couple of months. Nothing!
- The guy looks like a Dominican Jack Sparrow (which doesn’t sound like a pro, but my family is full of funny, clever, unapologetic mockers. Trust me, this is gonna make for some good schtick.)
Cons:
- Jersey number 99. Really? I’m sorry, but that’s a bullshit number in baseball and Manny knows it. I’m peeved.
- Inevitable “That’s what she said!” ‘s when anyone talks about how Manny has a “big bat.” Ugh.
- Lessons in douchebaggery: The curtain call. I realize there are really no star athletes on the LA sports scene (besides Kobe and probably David Beckham, but I’m not sure we count him because, you know, it’s soccer. I don’t get soccer, by the way. Let’s face it, soccer is a peasant sport - you’ve got your foot, you’ve got the ball. There’s nothing to it.) But are we really so desperate for a celebrity athlete that we’re curtain calling a guy who, more likely than not, we’ll only see in a handful of games? Because there’s no way we can afford that ginourmous salary once the season is over, you know. And no matter how much he says he wants to finish his career in LA, you can bet your life that he’ll go wherever the money is good.
Manny being Manny. It’s quite the conundrum, don’t you think? I’m conflicted.
